10 THINGS TO DO FOR YOURSELF.

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If there's something I've learnt over the last several years it's that it's not only OK to be fully selfish sometimes, but that it's behaviour to be encouraged! I think it's all too easy to people please, or to put others before yourself all the time - god knows I do it a lot - but you matter too. So today I'm sharing 10 things you should do for yourself, and encourage a little self love!



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R I D   Y O U R S E L F   O F   T O X I C   P E O P L E

Let's start with one of the most important tips. I've no idea why but I used to think I had to put up with people I didn't like, maybe that I felt I had to make them like me, or that I should make an effort with people that aren't bringing me any positivity. I used to think that the people that made me feel envious, small or insecure (Instagram anyone?!) had to remain in my life, or that I still had to talk to the friend whose conversation had just devolved into competition and oneupmanship. If you're in that mindset, I'm here to tell you that that's just simply not the case. And it's not about whether it makes you a nice or mean person - it's just you doing you. You deserve better than the negativity and toxicity and belittling, and it's within your control to not accept it. Distancing yourself might be the best thing you've done this year.

S A Y   Y E S   M O R E

Anyone else abide by the 'You're more likely to regret the things you didn't do, rather than those you did' mantra? Being open to change and getting out of your comfort zone actually does a lot for anxiety - something that I, along with many, suffer from. The more you enrich your life with new experiences and opportunities, the happier you become, and the only way to do that is by saying yes more, instead of talking yourself out of it, or putting things off until you feel more confident/it's after your birthday/it's next year/you're thinner.

B E   H O N E S T   W I T H   Y O U R S E L F

Whatever version of you you want to portray to the rest of the world (and I understand putting on a front etc to make you feel better), behind closed doors, be honest with yourself. Even if things aren't good - and god only knows honesty is hardest to hear when things aren't - at least you have a grasp on where you are and you're in a position to assess the situation and make changes.

E M B R A C E   Y O U R   I D I O S Y N C R A S I E S

Whilst realising you don't always conform to the norm can have you feeling disappointed and not good enough, standing out isn't always a bad thing. Everyone but everyone has their quirks so what does that make normal anyway? (Isn't it funny how being called 'normal' is generally seen positively, whilst most of us would feel somewhat underwhelmed being labelled 'average', even though they mean very similar things.) Embracing who you are can bring you joy, so focus on being the best version of you rather than a second rate version of someone else.

G E T   O U T S I D E   M O R E

The sedentary, technology-driven lifestyle a lot of us live these days robs us of many of the simple things that bring us pleasure and peace of mind. Research has found for example that exposure to sunlight alleviates depression - no surprise, as I'm well aware that sunshine always lifts my spirits! Just getting out for a walk in the country can get your blood pumping, endorphins going, top up your vitamin D levels, mitigate stress and generally do your body and sense of well-being the world of good.

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D O N ' T   B E   S O   H A R D   O N   Y O U R S E L F

Believe it or not, I've been diagnosed with 'Perfectionism', which I always thought was a positive thing and just meant striving for the best rather than being an ailment (I think people use the phrase 'I'm such a perfectionist' incredibly lightly and most have no idea) - it still frankly sounds like nonsense to me and isn't something I've ever told anyone outside of my inner circle - so I guess now you know! But setting constant and all-encompassing standards for yourself that are impossible to reach and beating yourself up when you don't reach them is pretty soul destroying. This is something I'm still working on, so I could do with practising what I preach here - and if you want me to talk about my experiences and tips more then let me know.

D E C L U T T E R   Y O U R   S P A C E

A tidy space for a tidy mind - who doesn't feel better after a clean up and a clear out? I recently cleared out all the skincare and makeup packaging I'd accumulated for months (why do we keep these bloggers?!) and went through my entire makeup collection, chucking out the old and expired, and it felt so good. Even the little things like sorting out your diary or deleting unwanted pics or apps on your phone can do the trick.

F O R G I V E   O T H E R S

And not for their benefit either. I love this Chinese proverb: 'Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else, you are the one who gets burned'. I'm not saying to invite them back into your life with open arms by all means (refer to tip 1!), but holding a grudge expends your own energy that could be put to better use.

I N V E S T   I N   A   G O O D   B R A

Your tatas aren't supported by muscle, but rather by skin and ligaments (who thought up this terrible design shortfall??) and aside from defying gravity for longer, a good, well-fitting bra can help with headaches, neck and back aches, posture and the fit of clothing, especially if you're amply proportioned. I love Wacoal's Halo bra as it offers full cup support and you can clip together the straps at the back to stop them slipping down your shoulders.

W E A R   A   H I G H   S P F   E V E R Y   S I N G L E   D A Y

Wearing a high factor sunscreen everyday is one of the best things you can do for your looks. The sun, as much as we love it, is arguably the biggest cause of aging in skin, and the UVA rays that we can't see are able to penetrate clouds and glass. There are SPF's available in all types of formula now so there's no excuse! Try a powder like this Pang Pang SPF powder or the cult Biore gel for oily skins, the Myeonghan Miindo for drier skin, or my personal favourites, the O Hui Perfect Red and cushion SPF's. And make sure you get a dedicated sunscreen as makeup including SPF isn't enough.

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I hope this little list has helped somewhat, I'm all for encouraging as much self love as possible - life can be hard enough right? Share your favourite tips in the comments below!


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33 comments

  1. This is such a lovely post! I love all of the ideas you gave, and they're all so true. De-cluttering and going outside are the best ways to cheer myself up and just have some me time! Thanks for sharing this with us xx

    Grab Your Camera x

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    1. So glad you enjoyed Claire, a walk definitely helps lift my mood xx

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  2. I Love this! So true, we need to take time for ourselves and definitely invest in a good bra!! x

    www.shayholly.co.uk

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    1. Absolutely, so glad you enjoyed lovely xx

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  3. I've been desperately trying to do some of these points, especially saying yes more.

    Rosy | Sparkles of Light Blog

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    1. It's definitely something I need to remind myself to do - it doesn't always come naturally! xx

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  4. these are great little tips, i think embracing your quirks is the best piece of advice and is good for everyone to hear!

    Abigail Alice x

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    1. I'm so glad you liked it Abigail, sometimes we all need to hear a little pep up! xx

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  5. So many good tips here, I agree with them all!

    www.wheresmylipstick.com

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  6. Such a lovely and refreshingly honest post. Your photography is BEAUTIFUL too!!!

    Sincerely, Sarah xx
    www.sincerelysarah.net

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    1. Aw thank you Sarah, that's really sweet, so glad you enjoyed reading xx

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  7. You've got a lot of great tips here, especially the first point. It can be a really hard thing to do if the source is an actual person as opposed to your own behaviours (like instagram) but it really does change your life so much to not have to deal with a constant source of negativity anymore that always brings you down. Also I didn't realise perfectionism was an actual condition/diagnosis and I think most people don't. But I can only imagine how exhausting and overwhelming it would be to have that, but it's good you got the diagnosis and can recognise unhealthy behaviours and try and correct them so you're not so hard on yourself all the time.

    littlehenrylee.net

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    1. Thanks for your comment lovely, Perfectionism is certainly hard to deal with but it's good to get a bit more exposure on the condition! xx

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  8. Totally agree with all of these! I especially need to say yes more. I'm such an anxiety queen that I like to stay in my comfort zone, but that can get so boring!

    xx
    Nida | Caked To The Nines

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    1. Definitely, I always put things off due to feeling anxious - I bet I regret it later though! xx

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  9. Loved reading this, J! For a long time now, I've been trying to step away from these 'toxic'(though toxic seems a very extreme word, so I tend to say 'unhealthy') relationships over the years... it's definitely a hard thing, especially as for the longest time, I felt compelled that it was something I needed to keep up. But you're right, distancing yourself where you can't feel entirely comfortable is something that needs to be done, and better late than never!

    As for perfectionism, I totally get what you mean. I have the /exact/ same thing going on with me. I think I used to be worst and get caught up with every single criticism and disagreement people told me and wallow in all the guilt, but it's definitely one I'm trying to work on too. It's so hard though! Sometimes it gets so overwhelming and it makes me super anxious even before something has even begun... but I'm glad you're also a step closer to trying to find the perfect balance of nonchalance and self-blame.

    Cherie | sinonym

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    1. So glad to hear that I'm not alone Cherie, and glad you're working on your demons - I'm trying to get started with mine! So glad you enjoyed reading too xx

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  10. Such a lovely positive post! I too have perfectionism but only in small doses - being hard on myself I have in large does. Particularly love your tips on ridding yourself of toxic people I've recently done this and feel so much more happier and content.
    Fabulous photography too lovely
    Lisa
    Beauxdiaries.com xxx

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    1. Doesn't it feel great? I can't believe I used to think I had to put up with these people haha. Thanks lovely xxx

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  11. Such a fab post with so many positive vibes, great read for a Tuesday morning to make me feel motivated. I agree with so many of these points especially knowing not to be too hard on yourself. Btw I just adore your photography, so beautiful x

    Beauty with charm

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    1. Aw thanks Alina for your lovely comment, and I'm so glad I could help with some motivation for you! xx

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  12. Thanks for this post. It's true, it's totally ok to take time for ourselves. When we nurture ourselves we are better able to nurture those around us :)

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    1. Absolutely, I love the way you put it too xx

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  13. What a great post! I think as bloggers/youtubers/instagrammers, we feel the need to constantly do things to please other people, and that can definitely drain you out after a while. Taking some time to indulge in ourself is a great way to rejuvenate and help us keep going!

    Having a tidy space is something that makes a huge difference for me personally. When my space is cluttered and messy, it makes me unmotivated and lazy. Reading Marie Kondo's book has really helped me declutter my space!

    Jenny // www.geekyposh.com

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    1. Absolutely, like you said there's a lot to try not to get caught up in with blogging etc, and comparing yourself to other bloggers can definitely make you feel not so great about yourself! I'm definitely going to take a look into that book so thanks for the mention! xx

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  14. These are all such great tips and advice and I completely agree with all of them. Great read!

    Ann-Marie | http://facetocurls.com

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    1. Thanks lovely, so glad you enjoyed reading! xx

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  15. I'm all for investing in a good bra, it sounds stupid but I used to wear this really ugly bra all the time and then when I bought my current bra (a Chantelle balcony bra) and all of a sudden I felt so much more confident and begged about myself! Crazy what a good bra can do.

    www.thesundaymode.com

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    1. Definitely, it's amazing how different it feels! xx

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  16. I cannot agree more with getting a good bra!

    Danielle xx
    http://www.fashionbeautyblog.co.uk/

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  17. Totally agree with all of these and I really enjoyed reading this! I definitely need to get rid of a few toxic people from my life as bad as that sounds - I think I'll feel so much better for it! Gorgeous photos too chick x

    Always, Alice

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